Dear CCH’s Little Helper,
I’m in a bit of a jam right now. Starting Quarter Three, one of my friends is transferring to our school, who is really creepy. He has a crush on me, and I’ve told him “no” so many times, but he just doesn’t know when to quit. When he told me he was transferring, I didn’t know how to react. It’s going to be even more weird if he’s in my classes! Please help me. I don’t know what to do.
Worried and Confused
Dear Worried and Confused,
I can certainly understand your consuming worry over this matter, for I myself have gone through some similar situations, though yours is unique in that he is now transferring to CCH. My first bit of advice to you is to NOT PANIC. Although many of us spend time worrying over what happened in the past or what might happen in the future, the present is the only time (if ever) for worrying. There’s no sense getting worked up over imagined situations that might not come to pass. Don’t let the fear of what’s to come consume you.
I can’t speak for how you’ve turned down this boy in the past, but if it does in fact turn out that his crush on you manifests in ways that make you uncomfortable once he has transferred, you’re going to have to be very clear with him how you feel. Sometimes, going about things gently will do more harm than good, and certain (CERTAIN) boys need to be told that their feelings aren’t accepted or reciprocated with the bluntness of a baseball bat. What I mean by this is that if he is continuing to pursue you with fervour, you will need to tell him point-blank that his behaviour is making you seriously uncomfortable and that you need him to stop. A simple, “I’m not interested,” or “no,” may not suffice. You need to try to get him to understand that his behaviour is inappropriate and that he needs to stop pursuing you. It can take a lot of courage to tell someone this, but at times, being upfront and honest and outlying your EXACT feelings about the situation may be the best solution. By getting someone to see things from your point of view, they may be more likely to desist in undesirable behaviour.
Something that might help convince him to leave you alone would be to tell him that while you’d rather solve things between the two of you, on your own, if he persists in behaviour that makes you uncomfortable, you will seek external involvement. As much as you may feel uncomfortable seeking the direct help of an adult, they can be extremely useful mediators. If you are so consumed by the unbearable emotions this is causing you to experience, getting their help will certainly be worth any reservations you have about asking them. There are people around you who are always willing to help, and if you feel that you can’t handle this situation on your own, reach to people who you feel comfortable confiding in and ask for help.
I hope that everything turns out for you in the end. Be brave and clear-headed, and I’m sure that you will come our alright.
CCH’s Little Helper
CCH’s Little Helper is an anonymous student blogger that is here to help you with your issues. Send questions to firstname.lastname@example.org.